Say it Ain't So Lindsay

people.com

Lindsay Lohan has dodged another jail bullet.  On March 18th, she pleaded no contest to misdemeanor charges, relating to a June 2012 car crash, the  Los Angeles Times reports.  She has been sentenced to 90 days in rehab and 18 months of psychotherapy, along with 30 days of community service.  So what's new? Her arrest record is thicker than "War and Peace".  *Signal patriotic music*.  Well I'm an American,  and as an American I love to champion the underdog.  And my God if Lindsay Lohan isn't a hairless poodle in a dog show.   Now I know that a lot of  her troubles she's brought on herself.   But at the end of the drunken, drug induced, vehicular assault, mug shot day, I hope every time she enters rehab, she will emerge with a fresh perspective on life and a since of purpose for her career.  A few weeks ago, I was discussing Lohan with  some co-workers and had a serious“leave Lindsay alone” moment.  Everyone was like, “ dude why do you even like her?”  It took me a second, but I did come up with a few answers.  

Reason #1:  The girl can act.  She can be in a drug induced coma and still act circles around many of the actresses in Hollywood.  Check her stats.  These are a few of my adolescent faves.

Is she Elizabeth Taylor, no.  But she could be if she would only, “Just Say No”. 

 

Lohan and Samantha Ronson 

Reason #2: She came out before it was trending.  Lohan came out before Wanda Sykes, Ricky Martin, Jodie Foster and the wonderful Chely Wright.  She didn't do it on a stage, on the cover of "People" or have a coming out coach.  All she had was a few pics, a long term relationship and a statement.  

What I loved about her “outing” was that she was unapologetic about her sexuality. That took bravery.  And even though her girlfriend was criticized for being too old and too butch, she celebrated them in public.  That took class. 

Reason #3: We could all use more red heads in our lives.

Chickswelike.com

Its funny when queer folk hope, beg, demand for celebrities to come out of the closet and they emerge as a train wreck.  Now what do we do with them?  Do we only want/support them when they lead  good, wholesome queer lives?  Hell, can we afford for them not to?  I do believe that there is a pressure for queer celebrities to rise above the behaviors of their straight peers, although some may not want to recognize it.  Every public persona that represents a minority, whether they want to or not, carries that burden.  And the only way to ease that burden is for more representatives to step forward. A whole slue of celebrities have come out since Lohan, and perhaps one day fear of losing one's career because of sexual orientation will be no more.  Until we reach that point, I will continue to root for that freckled 90s kid with so much promise.  Because we're worth it.      

 

SPOTLIGHT: Meet "The Fosters"

Courtesyabcfamily.com

Its official! Despite the loud protests from One Million Moms and other "traditional" values groups, Jennifer Lopez's comedy-drama, The Fosters, aired its official trailer last week.  This groundbreaking series stars the fierce Teri Polo (The West Wing) and Sherry Saum (Rescue Me) as lesbian couple Stef and Lena.  The mixed-raced couple have a biological son and several adopted children.  On the first episode, the family's world is turned upside down when Lena invites a rambunctious runaway to live with them.

The historic nature of the series goes without saying.  But I'll say it anyways.  This is historic.  Multi-racial family depiction is slim, and never before has there been a series on American television centered exclusively on a two mom household.  This is also political.  Few television series get protested before they even have a season in the can.  One Million Moms had this to say about the series:

Obviously, ABC has lost their minds…[they've] approved a series pilot from Jennifer Lopez’s production company, Nuyorican, about a lesbian couple and their diverse family…ABC Family reported the comedy-drama pilot, working with the title “The Fosters,” is about two women raising a “21st century,” multi-ethnic mix of foster and biological kids.

While foster care and adoption is a wonderful thing and the Bible does teach us to help orphans, this program is attempting to redefine marriage and family by having two moms raise these children together.

As dangerous as two women raising children together sounds, its not nearly as insidious as the statement it will make every single episode: "Our families are the same as yours.  Our love is the same.  Our struggles are the same.  And if you don't want to give us a place at the table......we will make our own table.  Because we are good at that sort of thing."

IMDb

According to the trailer, the series seems to be more focused on the lives of the children, which is great because who wants to see a "very special" episode about the difficulty of having a same-sex household every week, downer.  I will be interested in how the show integrates the real issues faced by same-sex parents and the challenges of raising children in general.  Very early reviews of the series compares it to the mamma bear of family shows, 7th Heaven.  I wish it the same longevity and success.  Be on the look out for my review of the pilot in June, and please tune in.  In the midst of the real struggles that LGBT families face, true representation of our lives is the strongest weapon we have.  Use it. Support it.     

And a side note.  I want to give a shoutout to ABC Family's consistent support of non-traditional characters and families in general.  If you are not following this network, do because it is light years ahead in terms of queer representation and depiction of modern family life. Their slogan says it all:  "A New Kind of Family."  

                                                             
                                     And family is what its all about. 

Below are a few great shows to consider. 

"Switched"

"Baby Daddy"

"Secret Life of the American Teenager"

"Pretty Little Liars"

"Melissa and Joey"

 *Photos courtesy of abcfamily.com

Girl on Girl: Queer Sex in Adult Film

viaILOVELONDONGIRLS.COM

We've been seeing each other for a while now, so I think its time we talked about sex.  Lesbian sex specifically and why its soooo hard to find.  After years of independent research *clears throat* and after countless conversations with my friends, I have categorized "Girl on Girl" into three categories: Hot, Really? and NEXT!. 

Too often one encounters the same stale images that pass for lesbian porn.  

Two women with long flowing hair, both heavily endowed, but thin, gaze at each other in a non-descriptive room.  

They kiss, timid at first but then more aggressively.  Girl 1 mounts Girl 2 and slides her long red fingernails (Really?) down the tout frame of Girl 2, who giggles. 

*THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT*

Anyone who truly "works" with their hands knows to watch the length and texture of their fingernails.  Remember women are like fine luxury cars...... DON'T scratch the interior.  Thank you.

Back to bad porn:

If the actresses are bold, they may engage in a little thunder down under (Hot), but most of the time the fingers do the talking and then, still too damn much, the shocked but forgiving boyfriend interrupts the ladies.  And now we prepare for the "real" deal (NEXT!).  

"Girl on Girl" means just that, two girls engaging in intimate acts designed, in my opinion, for the male heterosexual gaze.  Often these actresses are novices with female parts-- even their own, only brushing the surface of female eroticism, and pausing at awkward moments looking for cues from male directors. But have no fear queerlings, there are some queer adult film companies made for us by us, and they know what you want.  

nahmanilikegirls.tumblr.com

Pink and White Productions , the works of Courtney Trouble , the performers of Crash Pad, and the amateur films on Queer Porn TV are all excellent places to start the journey to ...... self realization.  But if you are like me, you might be wondering what makes Queer porn different from the run of the mill stuff your brother watches?  Autostraddle.com has a great piece on Feminist and Queer adult entertainment that explores the emphasis on ethics and gender non-conformity that separates these productions from mainstream "Girl on Girl".  

via Tierra de Lobos

Queer porn entrepreneur  Jiz Lee, tells Autostraddle.com, 

"There's a danger when porn is limiting in gender and sexual acts -- in an absence of other forms of explicit sex as education, a limited view starts to paint a portrait of what sex looks like, what people who have sex look like, etc... and a constrained example of sex negates MANY alternate and completely valid experiences of what sex is."

J-Bird of Crash Pad Series 

"The experiences I have had given me a new perspective on how ethical porn can be. It requires communication, consent, and respect. I love working with production companies where the performer has a lot of freedom to create their own scene, come as they are (ie: body hair, clothing (or not)) and there is a supporting environment around. That feels ethical and feminist to me." 

If you are looking for genuine queer images in adult entertainment, my greatest advice is to just explore.  Free your mind.  And try to let go of the traditional gender/sexual role play that you were taught even before you knew what sex was.  And above all Respect and enjoy. 

- Happy hunting.  

   

WellCast: Youth Oriented Video Talks Coming Out

Facebook

WellCast, an animated Internet show, explores physical, emotional and psychological paths to wellness.  The bi-weekly program covers a lot of wellness ground like dealing with depression, finding the perfect roommate and last week, how to come out.

Unfortunately, it seems WellCast is already catching a little heat for its coming out video.  Something about how it shouldn't be geared towards kids, the "gay agenda," blah blah blah.                                                                                                              

I think the video does a admirable job at confronting, consolidating and expressing what can be a very cumbersome topic.  The 5 steps to coming out are sound, realistic and just plain good advice. What is cool about the video, besides the quirky humor and clever animation, is its advocacy for coming out from a WELLNESS perspective. Words like, "There's nothing healthier and nothing braver than living openly as yourself," may seem obvious, but they do make an impact.  Queer people have always suspected, and in recent history have touted, that coming out is critical to one's mental and spiritual health.  But to have a mainstream publication support that view so matter-of-factly is worth talking about.

Do the world a favor and go to the WellCast Facebook page and voice your support for the video.  Also add a "thumbs up" on the YouTube page.  You should also check out their other videos.  The good people at WellCast just might know what they are talking about.  Besides, who couldn't use a little free therapy?  

Dude that Commercial is Gay: New Kindle Comes Out

So it turns out The Gay is catching.  A few days ago the Kindle Paperwhite came out.

For me this commercial is refreshingly boring. It manages not to sensationalize gayness, though the very existence of a married gay man is odd enough for some viewers.  Still the positive portrayal of a gay relationship was enough to get the usual suspects all in a tizzy.  Conservative media watch group, One Million Moms stated, "We have Amazon's Kindle Paperwhite commercial that promotes gay marriage.  Instead of Amazon remaining neutral in the culture wars, while showcasing how their product has no glare even at the beach, they chose to promote sin."  Umm ok.  Why does a commercial with a married gay character get everyone so hot and bothered?  And why don't we see more of it?  

Americans were introduced to television in 1939.  The first television commercial aired in 1941.  Since then the two have gone together like peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, lesbians and softball.  Queer folk have made great strides in media representation, especially lately.  We have out celebrities, tons of movies, TV shows, TV episodes, our own section on Netflix, our own networks and we are practically immortalized in print.

JC Penny

Image credit: Facebook.com/Oreo

But sit back, close your eyes and tell me the last time you saw a mainstream TV commercial with any of the GLBTs in it?  (PSAs or commercials with Ellen don't count).  I mean a Lysol commercial, a Burger King commercial, a Beggin' Strips commercial.  I'd even accept one with queer people in the background.  Go ahead, I can wait.

Chevy Volt Gay Pride Ad

So much fuss is made over the number of queer characters on TV shows, in music, on film, and rightfully so.  But every year I am shocked at the invisibility of queer life in commercials?!  Why such low representation you ask?  I can't say for sure, but I have a theory. We will use the Kindle ad as an example, imagine this.  Mom and Dad are watching "American Idol" with their kids, Jimmy and Susie.  Then right after the Ellen Cover Girl commercial, there is the Kindle commercial:

Man: Nope

"I just bought a Kindle Paperwhite.  *Leans towards woman.* "We should celebrate."

Woman: "My husband is bringing me a drink right now."

 Man: "So is mine."

Husbands wave from the bar.  

GLITTER BOMB!

Commercial fades.  Mom and Dad look at each other.  Jimmy looks at Mom and asks, " Can boys have husbands?"

There it is.  The dreaded conversation so many families are afraid to have.  How dare "we" force them to talk about this issue to their kids.  Its not like they actually know any of "those".  Call me a skeptic, but I think the reason we rarely see commercials with queer content or people is because advertisers are afraid to spook potential buyers.  I think this perception used to be reality, but most Americans have evolved to the point where a gay character shopping at Marsh won't lead to a boycott of Marsh....right?  I get why CBS won't run the KY jelly commercial with Mark and Max, but can't the gay boy buy a sandwich at Mckie Ds?

 Come on America we're better than this.

P.S. Below are a few of my favorite queer commercials from the US.

Levi's Jeans Commercial Alternate Ending (2007)

Guinness Never Aired (1995)

Cheers to Guinness for being so awesome in 1995.

Gay Republicans: Friend or Foe

ghostofreagan.com

Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right up! On May 15th, American television will bring you CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference), the greatest show on Earth!! This year's conference brings you American patriots like: Mitt Romney, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul and Sarah Palin, you betcha'. Truthfully I can't wait to see what Conservative shenanigans will ensue next week, but my Elephant O's will be missing the marshmallows this year because the gays have been banned again. In 2011, the Log Cabin Republicans and Go Proud ruffled a few feathers with their presence at CPAC. In 2012 Go Proud was shooed away, and in 2013, both organizations were officially texted, "btw we are Never Ever EVER getting back together."

When I heard that both groups were banned from CPAC 2013 I was surprised. Not because a bunch of Conservatives excluded them from their reindeer games, but because of the timing. Who in the CPAC media relations group thought that excluding, what is arguably the most high profile minority group in the country right now, from CPAC was a sound political strategy? After getting a whoopin' in two election cycles, I thought the new Republican party line was centered around reaching out to minorities? I am a registered Democrat. But even I was a little disheartened and a lot of miffed with this decision. Why? Because no matter how you feel about gay Republicans/Conservatives in general, they are still gay and have been subjected to blatant discrimination and homophobia by their own party, and that's just not cool. What is worse is the non-reaction of the leadership of Go Proud and the Log Cabin Republicans.

According to the Huffington Post, GOProud's Jimmy LaSalvia stated, "We were kicked out last year and nothing has changed and we wont be at CPAC. The last communication I've had from them is that we were kicked out. Nothing has changed."

Log Cabin Republicans spokesman West Honeycutt said, "At the present time, we have no plans to participate in CPAC this year."

Now maybe I'm just a fiery jack a**, but these organizations should not let this stand. Where is the righteous indignation, the threat to protest, the pressure to boycott, the propensity to act up, THE PRIDE?

Many in the queer community feel confused, even betrayed when we meet gay Republicans. We think or ask why they would participate in a party that actively disenfranchises and demonizes them. I get the same sorts of questions when gay folks find out I'm a Christian. My first answer is usually "because I believe". And belief is independent of sexual orientation, please and thank you. Secondly, I can change my church from the inside faster than you can from the outside. And here is where I can gather some respect for gay Conservatives. Most of us expect only the Democrats to champion equality.


                               
                                                    Jezebel/Facebook

And that is fine, but there is so much else to do. Pinning all of our hopes and dreams on the Dems is, well foolish. But if gay Conservatives can form relationships with other Conservatives and get them to back away from hardline anti-gay positions, then the work of equality will move much more swiftly with a little help from our friends on the Right. And that ladies and gentlemen is the endgame after all.

SPOTLIGHT: Macklemore

Macklemore

“I can’t change, even if I tried.  Even if I wanted to, my love it keeps me warm.”

-"Same Love "

I arrived late to the Macklemore party.  I first met this artist, and I mean artist in every sense of the word, a few months ago by accident.  I was harrumphing over the suspension of a Middle School teacher in Michigan, for showing a music video called “Same Love.” After a student complained about the video, the school thought it appropriate to suspend the teacher, without pay.  Read the story here. Don’t worry, after some communal protest, Susan Johnson has been reinstated. So I clicked on the video prepared to play devil's advocate, searching for anything scandalous enough to warrant a suspension.   What I found lasted 7 minutes.  Now maybe it was the tacos I ate or allergies, but as I watched there was a distinct burning in my chest that brought water to my eyes. The music video was only 7 minutes long, but in it I saw my whole life's story; my loneliness, my fears, my hopes, my love.  And I was like whoa.  Watch "Same Love" below.

"Same Love" is one of many Macklemore sensations. Take a trip down the Youtube rabbit hole, and you will find a collection of works by a passionate, charismatic hip-hop artist who is a strong civil rights advocate.  For me, Macklemore's cool melodies, mellow rhythms and pure beats are only surpassed by his message.   In a genre that uses homophobia to sell records, Macklemore is a refreshing addition to hip-hop. With lyrics like, "I might not be the same, but that's not important/No freedom 'til we're equal, damn right I support it," I believe he will be a key piece to hip-hop's evolution.  More importantly, he is already becoming a prominent and consistent presence in the queer fight for equality.  Recently, he has been a voice for the "You Can Play Project" to support and encourage gay athletes to pursue sports.  Since its release ‘Same Love,” the official video, has had over 21 million views on Youtube with 220,800 likes and 6,500 dislikes.  Numbers that I think are becoming more and more representative of the general population's feelings on social issues. So if you haven’t already, please put "Same Love" on your playlist after "Thrift Shop." 

And now a little flo from yours truly *clears throat*.

Macklemore is super fly.

 Macklemore is trendy.

If he wants to message me he can be my friendy.

GLBTs need friends like these, to live a life of freedom.

So I'll wave a rag and shake my a**.

Damn right I support him!

 In case you missed it here is "Thrift Shop." 

Peace.